The Convention Fans Blog

Avast, me hearties! Monday be Talk Like a Pirate Day (I suggest a Welsh accent, for the historically inclined).

September 19, of every year, is a day of piratey fandom created about nine years ago by some guys who thought it would be cool to spend a day talking like a pirate. The holiday was popularized in 2002 by a Dave Barry article.

This year TLAPD falls on a Monday. The Day’s official website, TalkLikeAPirate.com, is encouraging people to spend all weekend partying (‘cuse, you know, we need encouragement) and all the Monday work day dazzling their co-workers with their pirate phraseology. They’ve also put up a Google Map for people to add their party to, to prove that Talk Like A Pirate Day is a truly international event.

Some Handy Maritime Words to Pepper Your Piratey Speech With

• Belay

  hold, stop, wait don’t do that yet, never mind. Use in sentences like, “Belay that print out!”
  Fun Nautical Fact: Those knobby club sort of things that you see sticking up along the railing of a ship near where the ropes attach? They’re called belaying pins and are used to keep a rope in place. Yes, people got whacked over the head with them.

• Ahoy

  hey there, hello. Use in sentences like, “Ahoy Barrista, make mine a macchiato. Belay the caffine.”

• Ye

  you. Use in sentences like, “Ye got any whiteout, Kelly?”

• Me

  my. Use in sentences like, “Where be me pen?”

• Be

  is. Use in sentences like, “I be cravin’ tacos.”

• Bucko

  Short for buccaneer, which is the term for a pirate in the Spanish-controlled Caribbean. Use in sentences like, “What’s up, me bucko?”

• Scuttle

  sink, ruin, foil. Use in sentences like, “Arr, this meeting’s totally scuttled me plans for the evenin’!”

• Berth

  bed, parking space for boat, distance between ships. Use in sentences like, “Give Jen a wide berth, she be cranky; Dave scuttled the coffee maker again.”

• Scurvy

  diseased, prolifically dastardly. Use in sentences like, “Scurvy dastard took me berth!.”
  Fun Nautical Fact: Scurvy was a serious disease for all sailing folk and is caused by a vitamin C deficiency in the diet. The British Navy figured it out, eventually, and stocked their ships with citrus. (Why Brits are “limeys”)

• Luber

  noob, hillbilly. (sorry, by the way, for calling you all dastardly yokels)

• Letter of Marque

  cart blanche, official permission to do as you will. Use in sentences like, “This new contract be givin’ us Letter of Marque.”
  Fun Nautical Fact: This is the term for the license a government issued to its privateers, giving them permission to attack and loot enemy ships.

• Heave To

  halt in place,stop where you are. Use in sentences like, “Heave to, Chris wants to set sail for Taco Bell with us.”

• …and always remember a pirate’s favorite letter. Arrrr!